So, if you’re a guy and you still haven’t seen “Twilight” the movie, let me fill you in on a guy’s perspective. This is a movie about love and the tragedy that comes with it. So no matter what your girlfriend or wife says this movies main purpose is to tell a love story.  The vampires that are in it are not your typical blood lusting vampires that burst into flames when sunlight engulfs their skin. Instead these vampires sparkle like you are at a Miley Cyrus party and people are throwing glitter in the air.

The story starts out with an average girl named Bella that travels from Arizona live with her dad. Bella has a 7 on the hotness scale. Her parents are divorced and her mom decides to go on a road trip with her new husband, the baseball player.  So, Bella decides she would rather live with her dad then travel with the two.  She ends up in a place called Forks, Washington. Forks is a dark, gloomy place with no sunshine, not like it matters the vampires wouldn’t die from it anyways. Since this is such a small town everyone knows that Bella is the new girl in town and everyone gives her extreme attention. While making new friends at the high school, she notices a bunch of hip pale “teenagers” walking through the lunch room to pick their favorite spot by the windows. Now, here is your first look at the girl vampires. On a scale of 1-10 I would give Alice a 9 and Rosalie an 8 on the hotness scale.

Finally Bella finally meets up with Edward, her vampire love interest, in science class.  Edward, with his mighty vampire smelling nose, gets repulsed by the smell of Bella and gets up and runs out of class. Just the thought of Bella having an odor drops at least 4 hotness points for her.  After the movie staggers on for a while Edward and Bella finally start talking. They hang out for a bit nothing happens.

But, even though the relationship between the two doesn't go farther than the exchange of a few words, it is good to point out that Bella is, in simple terms, obsessed. All the girl can think about is this boy that she had literally only talked to a few times, even to the point that she can not sleep because all of her dreams are filled with Edward. With this kind of obsessive compulsiveness it really drags down her hotness level. WAY to clingy.

Finally, through keen detective work (aka: her being obsessive about this boy, to the point of stalking to find out everything about him) and some Native American book stores, Bella finds out what Edward really is, a vampire.

Unfortunately, you now have to bear witness to Edward removing his shirt to show his sparkly chest.  Really.  A sparkly vampire!  The only sparkling this vampire should doing after volunteering to wander into the pure sunlight is bursting into flames.  Ugh.  Now we have to hear him whine about how horrible it is to be a vampire, and then hear Bella whine about how she wants to be a vampire for the rest of the movie. So if you’re into whiny teenagers then you are going to enjoy the rest of the movie!

Now that Bella knows Edward is a vampire, and they are now a 'thing' in the high school, she gets to go meet the rest of Edward’s family, the Cullens.  The next female worth noting is Edward’s mom Esme. I am going to have to rate Esme as an 8 on the hotness chart.  The next scene in this movie that makes me unhappy is the vampire baseball scene.  I mean would vampires really go out and play baseball during a thunderstorm.   I guess it is America’s favorite out door pastime.  So they are playing baseball and Bella, being a mere mortal, cannot compete with being a player so she ends up being the vamp, er, I mean umpire.  After a few hits three scary vampires come out of the woods wanting to play baseball too. No seriously, baseball is the number one outdoor pastime, Google it. The scary, blonde, dangerous vampire ends up smelling Bella during the windy storm that is brewing.  She should probably take a bath by now. Mr. Cullen tells the vampires they need to leave and not eat Bella.  We also get to meet Victoria, the red headed hotty vampire. She definitely gets a 9 for being hot.

Now that the bad vampires have left, Edward is scared for Bella’s life and rushes her off to go into hiding. Bella freaks out that the evil blonde vampire is going to go her home to kill her dad because she can smell her scent there.  Edward and Bella have to go back to her house to make a scene to make sure they think that she is leaving there for good.

Well after that, the evil blonde vampire tricks Bella into coming to her childhood dance studio so that he can finally eat her.  Edward shows up starts to beat up the bad vampire.  During the not so epic battle, Bella gets bit and starts to turn into a vampire. Edward doesn’t want this to happen, so he has to suck the vampire poison out of her arm so that she will stay mortal and not be full of sparkly goodness.

Bella finally recovers and she goes to her prom and is still being emo about Edward not letting her turn into a vampire and whines about it until the credits.

Over all the movie had four hot vampires and one so-so main female character. If you’re a guy who likes hot vampire chicks then you should at least watch this with your girlfriend or wife. If you plan on watching any of the other movies in this saga and you want to know the story, you will definitely have to watch this one first before you can move on to the other. Good luck!